“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” JEREMIAH 1:5
I'm changing my name.
Rather, I will be returning to MY REAL NAME.
I used to dislike the thought of naming my page with my name. I thought, "How can people find me if they do not even know how to spell my name?!" 😂 So, I opted to use my nickname.
As I grew deeper with my relationship with the Lord, it came to me that I am proud by the name that God bestowed upon the heart of my mother to me. He inspired her to name me this way because He knew His plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11)
I'm a bit emotional writing this, because it took me a lot of time before I was able to embrace myself.
One of the things God said to me while I was questioning my worth in a certain season was, "Just as you are..." Removing all of who I think I was, what I have, my talents, everything that I can boast of... It all came down to zero. Just a nobody. Until that small, still voice is what I heard. It was clear, "Just come to Me as you are." I cried my heart out. Nothing in this world can break me to humility such as the fact that I had grieved His heart by not loving myself. He created us to be in communion with Him, and nothing saddens our Father more than knowing that we are ashamed of what we are currently - our looks, our talents and gifts, our very existence.
See what kind of love the Father has given us: We are called God's children—and that is what we are! For this reason the world does not recognize us, because it did not recognize him, either. 1 John 3:1
I am thankful to Jesus. He keeps revealing a portion of His heart every time I need it.
Now, folks. Allow me to re-introduce myself.
I am Apaulle Danielle Mestiola. A follower of Jesus Christ, whose mission is to share a piece of my story everywhere I go to encourage other people and ultimately lead them to the heart of God.
You are always loved.
P.S. I just want to share the music I am listening to while writing this.
These past few days, I have actually been crying out to God, saying that I can no longer dream nor see the vision He has for me. I had asked, "Will it really come to pass? I do not see me in it anymore. I am afraid I had missed it. What will happen now?" As I worried endlessly, I realized that I lost the zealousness and hope that I once had. When all seemed lost, today, I got a text from a dear sister in Christ who invited me to meet His spiritual father from Nigeria.
I am so blessed for today! What I thought was an ordinary meetup turned out to be an appointment for the anointing I am asking for! Thank you, Pastor Obi for speaking life and igniting the fire in me! Almost all of the faith goals and prayers that I have for 2019 were answered through you! Praise God for your life! Thank you also to @whengrodriguez for being used by God for making this meeting possible, because of your obedience, I have made a new friend. Truly, God works a divine appointment and He cannot be stopped. This memory will be engraved in my heart.
Truly, God has never failed to show up in time! Thank you, Jesus for reminding me that your are still and always will be sovereign. The preparation is long, but once finished, I will emerge into the vessel of honor you want me to be. I fully receive the grace you have given me, and partake into the assignment given to me. For it is not my own honor that I seek, but to show Your glory so that men will see Jesus reflected in me.
"If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36
June 23, 2018
I was invited to a Deliverance conference. I have been in a season of isolation of healing and restoration and I wanted to be fully delivered, so I came along.
What should I say?
Should I cut to the chase? I think no. I got delivered there - along with the other people who attended. It was headed by Pastor Hiram G. Pangilinan, Senior Pastor of Church So Blessed International. He talked about Deliverance.
Believers can be demonized too, did you know that? There are two authentic beings that don't discriminate.
One is the enemy. He doesn't care whether you are a believer or not.
"For a number of years, I questioned this, but I am now convinced it can occur. If a "ground of entrance" has been granted, the power of darkness (such as trafficking in the occult, a continual unforgiving spirit, a habitual state of carnality, etc.), the demon(s) sees this as a green light - okay to proceed. Wicked forces are not discriminating about which body they inhabit. I have worked personally with troubled, anguished Christians for many years. On a few occasions, I have assisted in the painful process of relieving them of demons." - Chuck Swindoll, Stress Fractures
There were a few events believers are demonized. King Saul (1 Samuel 9-31) and Simon the Sorcerer (Acts 8:13, 22-23). There are many others (read your Bible!)
The second being is none other than God, our Abba.
"There is neither Jew nor Gree, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28
God heals. He can heal anyone. He hears anyone who calls on His Name. For instance, I was delivered from the spirit of unforgiveness and the spirit of anger. I thought I moved on. I was bullied and suffered trauma from my past. I've resisted new relationships and isolated myself so that I won't get hurt. I put up a lot of walls to "protect" myself. Little did I know, I was already poisoning myself from the inside out. By the grace of God, one of the ushers from the event went up to me. I was prevented by the enemy to speak. I was unable to say, "Spirit of anger, I cast you out. I don't want you anymore.". The usher walked up to me and said, "I send you God's peace." Afterwards, I somehow calmed down and was able to breathe. Then, he started to say, "I see you - spirit of unforgiveness, come out. You have been exposed." Then, I heard a myself shouting very loudly. I was crying and sweating so hard. Then, the usher said, "Oh, thank you God. I send you His peace."
After the session was over, I felt really light. I was full of joy and gratefulness and peace. Now, I share it to you who have read this.
I'm praying for you. May God send you peace and joy and love like you have never felt before. I speak life and blessings. The enemy has already lost. I cast them out in Jesus' name! I pierce them with the Sword of God. I strike you with the lightning from Heaven.
Guys, God has already won! There is no reason to be afraid. Come to God, He is excited for you. Trust His process. There is no need to be ashamed! You are safe with God. He will heal you - spiritually, financially, emotionally! If you are hurting and broken somewhere, God can and will heal you! He is waiting for you! I do pray that you meet with Jesus tonight.
I do apologize this post was short. I will tell more about it when the time comes. As of now, If you need someone to pray with you, I am here! Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Until then, be kind to yourself and it will all be worth it. Smile!
I literally had the hardest hike that day. My family and I went to Laguna over the weekend to check up on things. We had planned to visit only, but it appears that people went deeper into the mountains. We contemplated on whether we should go or not, since it was already the afternoon, which means the sun will be at its peak.
I don't remember the last time I went there, maybe like, 10 years ago already? My uncle told us that there was another way, and that it would only take us 30 minutes. We trusted him since he lived there, and we got really excited over this. I haven't seen that place in a very long time.
IT WAS THE LONGEST 30 MINUTES OF MY LIFE (sarcasm included, of course). It took us 3 hours before we got to that place. My shoes got broken and it was scorching hot. Worst. Day. Ever. We had thought that we were near. Why? We heard music from afar. That wasn't the case.
I walked barefoot. The rocks were melting my feet and my pores were crying more than ever. But, that didn't stop me. Rather, I couldn't stop. It was in the middle of nowhere. I had to keep going.
I think it's the same with life. There are a lot of times where we feel we can't go forward and we're so tired. But look around! We've gone a long way with life. We've gone so far and we're here! If we stop and stay at our current place, there would be nothing there. There would always be a finish line. We can rest, but we can't quit. A prize awaits us when we finish the journey - in my case, new footwear and rest. Never have I imagined I would love my slippers so much. I always took them for granted, but now I don't. I cherish them a lot more now! As they say, you only know the value of things once they're gone. I study to appreciate things more, including myself. Of course there are dark days where I can't and I suddenly feel lost, but during those times do I figure out the most precious things in life - those that are really invaluable.
I want to keep going... no matter what. The things I'm about to do, those I plan to accomplish - big and small, they won't be easy, but I will keep going. Because I believe, one day, I can look back with a smile and say it's worth it. I hope you can too.
If you know anyone suffering from Depression and/or other Mental Health disabilities, PLEASE, direct them to Natasha Goulbourn Foundation.
To those who are in emotional crisis and in need of immediate assistance, please contact the 24/7 HOPELINE at:
(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673)
2919 (toll-free number for all GLOBE and TM subscribers)
(Please note that these numbers are only available inside the Philippines. If you are in another location and are feeling suicidal, PLEASE, call any of the following numbers listed in this link.)
Depression is real. It's not just an emo phase or a mood swing. Stop telling people to get over it, or that it'll just go away. Be one of the reasons they stay. Don't shrug it off.
According to the World Health Organization, it is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. Globally, there are more than 300 million people of all ages that suffer from depression, that, if not treated, could even lead to suicide – the second leading cause of death among 15 to 29 years old around the world in 2015.
Please, just please. Listen to them. If they show any signs, please offer them support. Show them love. Give them a hug. Tell them it's not their fault. That they are worth it. That it's going to be okay. Hello.
If you need someone to talk to, I will be your friend. Reach me at Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
We'll get through this. TOGETHER. I pray that you are not hurting.
I am truly sorry. I needed time for myself. I'm still alive, okay?
I have a lot to say, and I don't think I can put them all in one post because you'd be bored to death with nothing but words.
These days, I haven't been able to rest unless I cry myself to sleep and then I wake up really tired and empty. I feel really sad. I also have a physical diary where I write everything and it calms me down to know that I'm getting better as the days go by. I still cry every night, though. But, I know I'll be fine.
Max Lucado
I had followed him in twitter for the longest time. He released a new book entitled: Anxious For Nothing
I was feeling empty for the longest time, and I was worrying about every single day, with my prayer begging God for help, or maybe, the permission to restart my life. I want to go back to square one.
I wanted to read this book, maybe get a little amount of hope so I can continue living because everyday is a battle. It's not available physically where I am, so I can't order it. So, I posted on twitter how I wanted to read the book. I used the hashtags: #AnxiousForNothing and tagged @MaxLucado, hoping he would notice me. Apparently, someone else did.
I cried.
Why would someone notice this post of mine? I sent her an e-mail, not expecting anything anymore since we lived on opposite sides on earth. I was just so thankful that she had noticed my tears. We have been keeping in touch, and she encourages me a lot. She told me her story. As of now, I'm happily waiting for the book. It should arrive between February 19th to March 9th.
I'm happy as I was sending her a letter of thanks. It just proves that the world is small, yet big. Are you on the same page as me? I can't explain it. I hope I can live with a peace of mind. I've been reading the bible every night, and I want to know more about it. I want to understand it more. I know He has the answer to everything.
Pray for me, will you?
Hello.
My name is DANA.
My dream is to travel the world and bring happiness to everyone I meet. To everyone reading this, I pray you are not hurting. Hold on, please.
"Memories takes us backwards; Dreams moves us forward."
I honestly don't remember when I started to dream about things. I was silent as a child, and I had little to no friends at all. When I was in 4th grade, my dream was to be a chef. When I stepped into High School, I pursued writing and made books which I never published because I was anxious of what people might think of it. When deciding what to major in college, I wanted to take up English but ended up taking Marketing instead. It was a harsh industry with a lot of competitors, and I'm not the kind to create things and sell them.
I transferred to different universities - every semester, I believe? Because I didn't like it. I was running away. People were treating me less than I deserve and I couldn't breathe. I only had, like, 3 friends. That was enough, of course. But, we were taking up different courses, so it was hard. I was an irregular student so I had to take up classes with different people to catch up. It didn't bother me, unless it was a group project. Then, I transferred to my current one, where there are less than 500 enrollees. Dream come true? Yes and no. If it was few, I didn't have to worry about classes, but I'll be easily seen then I would need to interact with them. I hate it. I lasted for 3 semesters, the longest one.
Summer came, and I went into the training school in our church. They were teaching us the fundamentals of the bible and what serving really is. We studied about history and all that stuff, and I enjoyed it, a lot. I had found something interesting. I thought it was easy, but it wasn't. There were a lot of stuff I had never thought of until it was taught to us, so I was really fascinated. I wanted to finish this and graduate here, and ultimately bring into action everything that I have learned.
So I planned.
I envisioned how to do things. Little did I know I only kept on planning, never doing. It was hard. I never knew how much trouble our pastors must go through everyday. Everyday has different plans of its own. I was scared of carrying people on my back, I could preach in front, but that was all I wanted to do, after going down, please don't bother me. Of course it doesn't work that way, right?
So, I decided to write down the things I really want to accomplish. I am really determined to finish this and working hard was a prerequisite. Then, I came to another realization. I need money to fund my activities. But, where do I get this? We had planned a mission exposure in Thailand on October 2017 and I don't have anything. I prayed to God to direct me somewhere. A place where I can share the gospel and get money at the same time.
Long story short: I got into one, made friends, became depressed again because it was toxic inside, messed up my body clock, got to Thailand, return and resign. And here I am at home, writing.
I always write down the plans that I had and envisioned them in my mind. And at New Year's Eve, I wrote one again. It was a fresh start for me, and I want to accomplish the goals I have set for myself. I saw a video on YouTube about people writing down their regrets.
People were sad. They weren't able to pursue their passion or do things before their loved ones passed away. But then, the creators gave them an eraser. I had learned that it is never too late. Do the things you love, so you wouldn't have any regrets. I want to do the same. I want to look back on my memories so I can remember what happened. But I also want to look forward. I want to dream more. No, I will dream more. I will plan for my it and DO IT. I know I will experience hardships and disappointments, but I will keep on moving forward. So that someday, when I step into the spotlight, I will tell people how I managed to be happy, and I will smile alongside them as I drink a cup of coffee with them.
To those who are reading this, I pray that you are not hurting nor crying. Everything is going to be okay. If it isn't, then it's not yet the end. There will always be a rainbow after the storm. Do not waiver. Let's have a cup of coffee and talk about life.
Keep Moving Forward, D A N A D/N:
Keep on living. Never lose hope. There are people who understand. I will be your friend.
Last night I was surprised that my posts got views from the other side of the globe. Internet sure is awesome, no? I got audience from Germany, Ukraine, France, U.S. and Poland. I was literally shaking and stayed awake at 1 am because anxiety paid me a visit.
Then I woke up around 7 am. Yeah, I don't know why either. I stayed in bed - not moving an inch. I stared into space. It was the second day in 2018 and I was empty for 2 hours until my brother knocked on my door to bring me yet another news - a close family friend died. I have weakness for elderly people, so I cried again. I went to the funeral right away.
We hadn't seen each other since like, FOREVER. They said it's like a reunion, because it's the only time in years family has gathered together. Funny, but it's true. My family decided it would be better to stay until the next day because it's not everyday we see each other since we live in different cities.
Then, a group of ladies came in and started "praying". THEY HAD A SCRIPT. It's not that I'm against it or anything. It's just that I thought, "where's the emotion? I feel nothing." I thought it was just me being a cold tofu, but I think otherwise. One lady was speaking fast, the other one had her arms crossed and the other had this expression on her face like, "when is this going to finish?"
Goodness, if they would've have been like that, wouldn't it be better if they recorded it instead? Then I remembered Dr. Bahjat Batarseh's words: PRAY and FAST like never before.
I first did a fast back in May 2017, and I was crying my heart out. There were emotions - love, anger, hope, faith and a lot more. I don't really want to judge, but if you were in my position, well, this were my thoughts after all.
I stayed silent the entire day. It hurts. When I got home, I prayed. I apologized to God. I realize that in a lot of times, I was like the group of people I was with earlier. Praying without any emotions. Though wordings were different, it's still the same. But, I don't want to be complacent. I want to change. I feel so empty until now, but I really do want to wake up one day with a smile on my face. Greet everybody and have breakfast, then go out to have adventures and have a cup of coffee with different people and tell them how I managed to last long. Then I would pray for them, and they would find even a little hope in living. And the cycle goes on.
Pray for me, will you?
I don't know who you are, but to the people who are reading this: I PRAY THAT YOU ARE NOT HURTING.
I will be your friend, so please smile.
Sincerely, DANA
D/N:
Hello, internet! My name is Dana. I am a Mental Health advocate, a missionary, and a regular person who aims to be a happy person and eventually bring happiness to others.
DREAMS “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8
Dreams, in general, is a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep and contemplates the possibility of doing something.
The Scriptures say that once the Holy Spirit entered into us, it influences our soul that extends to its sleeping as well as its waking thoughts.
Question: What is the difference between DREAMS and VISIONS?
Dreams happen in sleep; Visions are dreams that happen in our wake. (a.k.a. waking dreams)
Dreams, however, are not vehicles of divine revelations. (e.g. fortune telling, etc.) The Bible warns us that God is against them.
“Behold, I am against those who prophesied false dreams”, declares the Lord” Jeremiah 23:32a
So, what should we dream about?
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
Libre ang mangarap [Dreaming is free]. A lot of people dream. And that’s the end of it. Why? Because of fear. It blocks their ability to believe in themselves.
Everyone dreams – worldly ones (e.g. “I want to be rich”, etc.). Christians? I think they have the same thoughts most of the time. They are afraid to dream Spirituals dreams and change the world because they fear persecution. They are afraid of these dreams of connecting heaven to earth because their lives would run differently, and they think they don’t have the enough potential to do something because they don’t know where to begin and how to begin in. but God has a solution to this – His supernatural powers.
God has a dream for every person’s life.
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Joseph was 17 years old when God gave him a world-changing dream (Ref.: Gen. 37:5). God told Abram that he will be the father of all nations (Ref.: Gen. 15). God appeared to Abimelech in his dream to tell him not to touch Sarah (Ref.: Gen. 20).
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew [chose] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
God is not speaking to one being, He is speaking to each one of us.
Question: What is God’s dream?
“However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” – the things God has prepared for those who love Him –.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
This is why we hear a lot of testimonies saying, “Hindi ko inakala na mangyayari ito.” ["I never thought this would happen."] because it always comes to us in a surprise.
Lesson learned: God loves to surprise us.
So, if 1 Corinthians 2:9 is telling the truth, then how do we know God’s dream for us?
“Ask and it will be given to you; Seek and you will find; Knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
How do we do this? By praying. If nothing is revealed, we should not worry. As I said, God loves to surprise us.
“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3
“I received it now, but nothing happened. What should I do?” Like it is written, we should wait for it because it is sure to come.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
When the time comes, we should not doubt and be afraid, for God promised us,
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
What is your dream? —
D/N [Dana's Note]:
Hello everyone! This is my first post here on this blog! I hope that you will support me despite 'upcoming' lapses - there's always room for improvement, right? Anyway, just to give you guys a heads up, I will be posting random things about my life and experiences - depending on what my "theme of the day" is? Also, I'm VERY RANDOM, I can just post a word or phrase and that will be it - I swear! Well, posting words would be overreacting, but, as always, I'll try my best to update just so I can share my day with you! Hoping for more interactions! God bless and see you again! P.S. Let's Connect Online! Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/apz_dana/ Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/ApaulleDanielle/ Twitter — https://twitter.com/Apz_Dana Tumblr — https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dana-apz
