“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
JEREMIAH 1:5
I'm changing my name.
Rather, I will be returning to MY REAL NAME.
I used to dislike the thought of naming my page with my name. I thought, "How can people find me if they do not even know how to spell my name?!" 😂 So, I opted to use my nickname.
As I grew deeper with my relationship with the Lord, it came to me that I am proud by the name that God bestowed upon the heart of my mother to me. He inspired her to name me this way because He knew His plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11)
I'm a bit emotional writing this, because it took me a lot of time before I was able to embrace myself.
One of the things God said to me while I was questioning my worth in a certain season was, "Just as you are..." Removing all of who I think I was, what I have, my talents, everything that I can boast of... It all came down to zero. Just a nobody. Until that small, still voice is what I heard. It was clear, "Just come to Me as you are." I cried my heart out. Nothing in this world can break me to humility such as the fact that I had grieved His heart by not loving myself. He created us to be in communion with Him, and nothing saddens our Father more than knowing that we are ashamed of what we are currently - our looks, our talents and gifts, our very existence.
See what kind of love the Father has given us: We are called God's children—and that is what we are! For this reason the world does not recognize us, because it did not recognize him, either.
1 John 3:1
I am thankful to Jesus. He keeps revealing a portion of His heart every time I need it.
Now, folks. Allow me to re-introduce myself.
I am Apaulle Danielle Mestiola. A follower of Jesus Christ, whose mission is to share a piece of my story everywhere I go to encourage other people and ultimately lead them to the heart of God.
You are always loved.
P.S. I just want to share the music I am listening to while writing this.
Miracles // Jeremy Riddle & Steffany Gretzinger // Bethel Music
You're Beautiful - Jeremy Riddle (Bethel Church)
Your name is your brand, and I am happy to hear that you can stand proud to wear it. I used to feel shame for carrying a girly name but then one day, the guy running the pizzeria that I was tasked to get food for the company had a great conversation with me regarding it:
ReplyDeleteBek(the owner): Hey Raven, when were you born?
Me: 1997 Sir.
Bek: Any chance did your parents watch the movie The Crow?
Me: Not sure, never asked them the story of my name.
Bek: Ahh, you know Bruce Lee's son right? Brandon Lee.
Well, when they were making the film, he died from prop gun being loaded with a live round. It is very likely they named you Raven because of what happened at the time.
Me: Ohhh, whoaaaa. I did not know that at all. Gosh, I might give my dad a call after this. Thanks man!
... ...
I since then wear my name proud and mighty, and possibly a cool backstory alogn with it. Still haven't confirmed it with my father though lol. Be safe and wish you well Apaulle.