A New Season

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
JEREMIAH 1:5

I'm changing my name.

Rather, I will be returning to MY REAL NAME.

I used to dislike the thought of naming my page with my name. I thought, "How can people find me if they do not even know how to spell my name?!" 😂 So, I opted to use my nickname.

As I grew deeper with my relationship with the Lord, it came to me that I am proud by the name that God bestowed upon the heart of my mother to me. He inspired her to name me this way because He knew His plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11)

I'm a bit emotional writing this, because it took me a lot of time before I was able to embrace myself.

One of the things God said to me while I was questioning my worth in a certain season was, "Just as you are..." Removing all of who I think I was, what I have, my talents, everything that I can boast of... It all came down to zero. Just a nobody. Until that small, still voice is what I heard. It was clear, "Just come to Me as you are." I cried my heart out. Nothing in this world can break me to humility such as the fact that I had grieved His heart by not loving myself. He created us to be in communion with Him, and nothing saddens our Father more than knowing that we are ashamed of what we are currently - our looks, our talents and gifts, our very existence.

See what kind of love the Father has given us: We are called God's children—and that is what we are! For this reason the world does not recognize us, because it did not recognize him, either. 

1 John 3:1


I am thankful to Jesus. He keeps revealing a portion of His heart every time I need it.

Now, folks. Allow me to re-introduce myself.

I am Apaulle Danielle Mestiola. A follower of Jesus Christ, whose mission is to share a piece of my story everywhere I go to encourage other people and ultimately lead them to the heart of God.

You are always loved.

P.S. I just want to share the music I am listening to while writing this.

Miracles // Jeremy Riddle & Steffany Gretzinger // Bethel Music
You're Beautiful - Jeremy Riddle (Bethel Church)

A NEW BEGINNING (2019)

These past few days, I have actually been crying out to God, saying that I can no longer dream nor see the vision He has for me. I had asked, "Will it really come to pass? I do not see me in it anymore. I am afraid I had missed it. What will happen now?" As I worried endlessly, I realized that I lost the zealousness and hope that I once had. When all seemed lost, today, I got a text from a dear sister in Christ who invited me to meet His spiritual father from Nigeria.


I am so blessed for today! What I thought was an ordinary meetup turned out to be an appointment for the anointing I am asking for! Thank you, Pastor Obi for speaking life and igniting the fire in me! Almost all of the faith goals and prayers that I have for 2019 were answered through you! Praise God for your life! Thank you also to @whengrodriguez for being used by God for making this meeting possible, because of your obedience, I have made a new friend. Truly, God works a divine appointment and He cannot be stopped. This memory will be engraved in my heart.

Truly, God has never failed to show up in time! Thank you, Jesus for reminding me that your are still and always will be sovereign. The preparation is long, but once finished, I will emerge into the vessel of honor you want me to be. I fully receive the grace you have given me, and partake into the assignment given to me. For it is not my own honor that I seek, but to show Your glory so that men will see Jesus reflected in me.

All the Glory belongs to You, and You only.

Amen

May 06, 2019

Free Indeed

"If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36

June 23, 2018

I was invited to a Deliverance conference. I have been in a season of isolation of healing and restoration and I wanted to be fully delivered, so I came along.

What should I say?

Should I cut to the chase? I think no. I got delivered there - along with the other people who attended. It was headed by Pastor Hiram G. Pangilinan, Senior Pastor of Church So Blessed International. He talked about Deliverance.

Believers can be demonized too, did you know that? There are two authentic beings that don't discriminate.

One is the enemy. He doesn't care whether you are a believer or not.

"For a number of years, I questioned this, but I am now convinced it can occur. If a "ground of entrance" has been granted, the power of darkness (such as trafficking in the occult, a continual unforgiving spirit, a habitual state of carnality, etc.), the demon(s) sees this as a green light - okay to proceed. Wicked forces are not discriminating about which body they inhabit. I have worked personally with troubled, anguished Christians for many years. On a few occasions, I have assisted in the painful process of relieving them of demons." - Chuck Swindoll, Stress Fractures

There were a few events believers are demonized. King Saul (1 Samuel 9-31) and Simon the Sorcerer (Acts 8:13, 22-23). There are many others (read your Bible!)

The second being is none other than God, our Abba.

"There is neither Jew nor Gree, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28

 God heals. He can heal anyone. He hears anyone who calls on His Name. For instance, I was delivered from the spirit of unforgiveness and the spirit of anger. I thought I moved on. I was bullied and suffered trauma from my past. I've resisted new relationships and isolated myself so that I won't get hurt. I put up a lot of walls to "protect" myself. Little did I know, I was already poisoning myself from the inside out. By the grace of God, one of the ushers from the event went up to me. I was prevented by the enemy to speak. I was unable to say, "Spirit of anger, I cast you out. I don't want you anymore.". The usher walked up to me and said, "I send you God's peace." Afterwards, I somehow calmed down and was able to breathe. Then, he started to say, "I see you - spirit of unforgiveness, come out. You have been exposed." Then, I heard a myself shouting very loudly. I was crying and sweating so hard. Then, the usher said, "Oh, thank you God. I send you His peace."

After the session was over, I felt really light. I was full of joy and gratefulness and peace. Now, I share it to you who have read this.

I'm praying for you. May God send you peace and joy and love like you have never felt before. I speak life and blessings. The enemy has already lost. I cast them out in Jesus' name! I pierce them with the Sword of God. I strike you with the lightning from Heaven.

Guys, God has already won! There is no reason to be afraid. Come to God, He is excited for you. Trust His process. There is no need to be ashamed! You are safe with God. He will heal you - spiritually, financially, emotionally! If you are hurting and broken somewhere, God can and will heal you! He is waiting for you! I do pray that you meet with Jesus tonight.

I do apologize this post was short. I will tell more about it when the time comes. As of now, If you need someone to pray with you, I am here! Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Until then, be kind to yourself and it will all be worth it. Smile!

Here's a song for you!

KEEP GOING

2018.05.12

I literally had the hardest hike that day. My family and I went to Laguna over the weekend to check up on things. We had planned to visit only, but it appears that people went deeper into the mountains. We contemplated on whether we should go or not, since it was already the afternoon, which means the sun will be at its peak.

I don't remember the last time I went there, maybe like, 10 years ago already? My uncle told us that there was another way, and that it would only take us 30 minutes. We trusted him since he lived there, and we got really excited over this. I haven't seen that place in a very long time.

IT WAS THE LONGEST 30 MINUTES OF MY LIFE (sarcasm included, of course). It took us 3 hours before we got to that place. My shoes got broken and it was scorching hot. Worst. Day. Ever. We had thought that we were near. Why? We heard music from afar. That wasn't the case.

I walked barefoot. The rocks were melting my feet and my pores were crying more than ever. But, that didn't stop me. Rather, I couldn't stop. It was in the middle of nowhere. I had to keep going.

I think it's the same with life. There are a lot of times where we feel we can't go forward and we're so tired. But look around! We've gone a long way with life. We've gone so far and we're here! If we stop and stay at our current place, there would be nothing there. There would always be a finish line. We can rest, but we can't quit. A prize awaits us when we finish the journey - in my case, new footwear and rest. Never have I imagined I would love my slippers so much. I always took them for granted, but now I don't. I cherish them a lot more now! As they say, you only know the value of things once they're gone. I study to appreciate things more, including myself. Of course there are dark days where I can't and I suddenly feel lost, but during those times do I figure out the most precious things in life - those that are really invaluable.

I want to keep going... no matter what. The things I'm about to do, those I plan to accomplish - big and small, they won't be easy, but I will keep going. Because I believe, one day, I can look back with a smile and say it's worth it. I hope you can too.

Have a nice day ☺️


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A Letter to YOU

Dear Beloved,

Hello. How are you doing today?

Did you have a good night's sleep? Please take a few more moments to close your eyes if you need more rest. Don't skip your meals and stay hydrated. We're so far away from each other so this is the only way I can take care of you.

Are you heading out to work? or.. how's school? Do you have any recent projects? Did you finally find something you want to do? I know you have a lot going on right now. Please know that I support you. You've been dreaming a lot ever since you can. I know you have the power to achieve them. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

Right now, I know it feels so hard to breathe. You might even be asking, "God, why me?". I'm so sorry you have to struggle alone. I'm so sorry you feel so discouraged. I'm so sorry that everything might seem to be against you. You're not alone. I'm your friend, remember? I'm always here, cheering you on. Even though we live in different places, having meals at different times, following our dreams on different paths, please never forget me. I will always be your friend. I pray that today you're not hurting anywhere.

It's okay to be not okay, remember? You can cry - it doesn't mean you're weak. You can stop everything and breathe. But, don't stay down. Remember me, and remember that I'm here giving you a push so you don't stay down. I know it's hard. It's okay. I'm here.

Every time before I go to sleep, I think of you. Did you eat? Did you have a good day? Are you crying right now? I hope not. If you are, don't forget that I am your friend and that I care for you. I know you're in a bad spot and that it looks like it'll be the end. Please close your eyes. Breathe. I pray that you feel better soon so we could hang out.

Why aren't you replying? I worry about you. Don't think that your struggles are unimportant. Give me a call and I'll run over to you as fast as I can. We're friends after all, right? You'll be alright one day. Maybe not today, but I hope that in the future, you can look back with a smile on your face and say you're glad it worked out in the end.

You're not sensitive, you are not stupid, and definitely not naive. It's not your fault. Hard to believe, yes? Trust me - this is the truth. I don't know what you're up to these days, but please keep on holding on. It's not just me. There are a lot of people who love you and support you. We're always here for you. Don't disappear on me one day. I will miss you a lot if that happens.

I know that sometimes you may think that no one cares. Be patient with yourself. God loves you and so do I. Don't be so hard on yourself. Despite everything, you're still here - breathing and alive. Thank you for keeping your life. Remember your dreams. Back when you were still a kid. Chase your dreams. I'll give you all of my support, whether it be becoming a rock star or a scientist. Don't let others define those dreams for you. You define it for yourself.

Remember when I told you that you have the most wonderful eyes? It still remains true to this day. Your eyes show the most life. It shows me how you want to keep on going. Thank you for being strong always. You are awesome. I don't want to lose you because of that. It's going to be okay. We all love you. People always grow. It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to be sad. Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, don't give up on yourself. It'll get better, I promise.

It's okay to pause and breathe. Do the things you want. Society will say anything anyway. Know that I won't. I will support you - no matter where I am. Also, be kind to your body. I know might take time, but please, take care of yourself. Be good to yourself, okay? There is something good every day, are you still writing that down in your diary? Look for one positive thought. I, for one, am your friend. Know that I love you and I care for you. Don't blame yourself for being sad. We're all humans, after all. There are days where we shine as bright as the sun and there are days we just want to go the dark and never go out. We all fail. but, it doesn't mean we are worthless, right? You and I are good enough - there are people who know that. You don't have to be happy all the time. Life isn't supposed to be a joy ride every single time. It's okay to feel nervous and anxious. All of these bad moments, let them be a part of a page in your story - don't let it be an entire book, okay?

Dear, healing doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. For some, it might take months. For you, it might take weeks or even years. It doesn't matter. What matters is you're here - and that you are healing. Also, when every day is a battle, it's okay to lose some days and retreat. Please hold on. You are incredible. I know you can succeed. Thank you for always being so strong that sometimes the world does not even see. I'm proud of you and I love you.

Time flies by so fast, right? I hope you feel encouraged, even for a little with my letter. I hope that we can see each other soon. Let's laugh and cry and do crazy stuff like we used to. Let's be happy and sad. I will be here for you. Stay strong. Breathe. Keep on living. Remember, I am your friend.

I'll be writing to you again soon. Stay healthy and well!

I love you,

DANA

(P.S. If you need me, I'm one chat away on Twitter, Instagram, and Faceboook)

HOPE for YOU

If you know anyone suffering from Depression and/or other Mental Health disabilities, PLEASE, direct them to Natasha Goulbourn Foundation.

To those who are in emotional crisis and in need of immediate assistance, please contact
the 24/7 HOPELINE at:

(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673)
2919 (toll-free number for all GLOBE and TM subscribers)

(Please note that these numbers are only available inside the Philippines. If you are in another location and are feeling suicidal, PLEASE, call any of the following numbers listed in this link.)

Depression is real. It's not just an emo phase or a mood swing. Stop telling people to get over it, or that it'll just go away. Be one of the reasons they stay. Don't shrug it off.

According to the World Health Organization, it is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. Globally, there are more than 300 million people of all ages that suffer from depression, that, if not treated, could even lead to suicide – the second leading cause of death among 15 to 29 years old around the world in 2015.

Please, just please. Listen to them. If they show any signs, please offer them support. Show them love. Give them a hug. Tell them it's not their fault. That they are worth it. That it's going to be okay.


Hello.

If you need someone to talk to, I will be your friend. Reach me at Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

We'll get through this. TOGETHER. I pray that you are not hurting.

Stay strong,

DANA

A New Hope

It has been 20 days since my last post.

I am truly sorry. I needed time for myself. I'm still alive, okay?

I have a lot to say, and I don't think I can put them all in one post because you'd be bored to death with nothing but words.

These days, I haven't been able to rest unless I cry myself to sleep and then I wake up really tired and empty. I feel really sad. I also have a physical diary where I write everything and it calms me down to know that I'm getting better as the days go by. I still cry every night, though. But, I know I'll be fine.

Max Lucado

I had followed him in twitter for the longest time. He released a new book entitled: Anxious For Nothing

If you want to purchase this book, link is here.

I was feeling empty for the longest time, and I was worrying about every single day, with my prayer begging God for help, or maybe, the permission to restart my life. I want to go back to square one.

I wanted to read this book, maybe get a little amount of hope so I can continue living because everyday is a battle. It's not available physically where I am, so I can't order it. So, I posted on twitter how I wanted to read the book. I used the hashtags: #AnxiousForNothing and tagged @MaxLucado, hoping he would notice me. Apparently, someone else did.

I cried.

Why would someone notice this post of mine? I sent her an e-mail, not expecting anything anymore since we lived on opposite sides on earth. I was just so thankful that she had noticed my tears. We have been keeping in touch, and she encourages me a lot. She told me her story. As of now, I'm happily waiting for the book. It should arrive between February 19th to March 9th.

I'm happy as I was sending her a letter of thanks. It just proves that the world is small, yet big. Are you on the same page as me? I can't explain it. I hope I can live with a peace of mind. I've been reading the bible every night, and I want to know more about it. I want to understand it more. I know He has the answer to everything.

Pray for me, will you?



Hello.

My name is DANA.

My dream is to travel the world and bring happiness to everyone I meet. To everyone reading this, I pray you are not hurting. Hold on, please.

Let us be friends on Faceboook, Twitter, Instagram.